


I Can Feel the Butterflies Leading Me Through It

by ThePineScentedAir



Series: Say You Will [9]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec and Magnus haven't said they love each other yet, Alec learns how to be vulnerable, Alec's first time, Bottom Alec, Boyfriends, First Time, Idiots in Love, Intimate moments, M/M, Magnus and Alec are so gone for each other it's insane, PWP, Realizations of Love, This is kind of their first time based off the show?, Top Magnus, Topping from the Bottom, boykissing, but not really?, laughing during sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 06:51:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12163686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePineScentedAir/pseuds/ThePineScentedAir
Summary: Alec hates being vulnerable.He’s spent his whole life making sure he’s not. Between the training and the lifelong dedication to repressing any emotions (including the more recent effort he's put into denying any and all romantic feelings he may have towards people of the same sex), he’s made sure he’s invulnerable.Except now, when he’s on his back looking down his bare chest at the man who’s somehow chipped away at his protective armor, with his legs spread as he watches Magnus roll on a condom and situate himself right there. This is the most vulnerable Alec has ever felt.---Or, Alec and Magnus's first time together and Alec's first time period.





	I Can Feel the Butterflies Leading Me Through It

**Author's Note:**

> I've been threatening to write this story for a couple months now and I finally found the words at the bottom of my bottle of merlot. So here we are!
> 
> This kind of fits between parts four and five of my series, so I'm adding it to the collection, but it doesn't really need any context. There really isn't any plot, so it serves as a standalone. 
> 
> Title from "Our Time Now" by the Plain White T's. Any and all mistakes are my own. I hope you enjoy!

Alec hates being vulnerable.

He’s spent his whole life making sure he’s not. Between the training and the lifelong dedication to repressing any emotions (including the more recent effort he’s put into denying any and all romantic feelings he may have towards people of the same sex), he’s made sure he’s invulnerable.

Except now, when he’s on his back looking down his bare chest at the man who’s somehow chipped away at his protective armor, with his legs spread as he watches Magnus roll on a condom and situate himself right _there_. This is the most vulnerable Alec has ever felt.

His heart beats rapidly in his chest and his cheeks burn. He knows his face is red and his eyes are a little bit scared of the unknown, of how this will change him, or how this will change them, Alexander and Magnus, somehow boyfriends despite all of the associated taboos and the universe trying to tear them apart.

Sweat rolls down his forehead and he tips his head back, breaths deep, tries to calm his nerves. Magnus shifts and he can feel the tip of his cock right at his entrance. His heart speeds up again.

“Alexander.”

And then there’s Magnus, still there when Alec opens his eyes, still smiling down at him. Still patient ( _so patient_ ) with his vulnerable ( _so vulnerable_ ) virgin of a boyfriend, a total mess of bunched nerves and anxiety. He smiles so Alec smiles back.

“Ready?”

Alec breathes deeply through his nose. He wraps his legs around Magnus’s waist and curls his hands around his biceps, pulling him down and closer. Their foreheads touch. “Ready,” Alec murmurs in the space between them. And then Magnus moves forward.

It’s such a change from how their night began – all fast touches and hot kisses and pulling closer, closer, _closer, Magnus, you’re too far away_. He moves slowly, pressing in carefully, mindful of Alec’s vulnerabilities. Finally he’s all the way in and looking down at his boyfriend’s face.

Alec’s eyes threaten to roll back into his skull. They try valiantly and of their own accord, a response to the unanticipated pleasure radiating through Alec’s body. He’s distantly aware of his mouth laying open but nothing exists outside of Magnus’s cock inside his body. He can feel the shape of it, could trace the outline in his head if he concentrated hard enough, but nothing compares to the way his nerve endings light up when Magnus starts to move.

Alec starts to moan—loudly and uncontrollably and incoherently—as he scrambles for something to hold onto. His hands reach for the pillows above him, the sheets below him, anything to hold onto while these insane sensations rocket through his body. He hears Magnus’s name tumble from his lips a few times and feels a hand around his cock and suddenly it’s over and he’s trapped in a wave of pleasure more intense than anything he’s ever accomplished on his own.

His head swimming, Alec opens his eyes and blinks up at Magnus. Magnus wears a smile so wide Alec’s afraid his face will split. “That good, huh?”

And then Alec starts laughing. It bubbles out of him as uncontrollably as his screams, filled with joy and incredulity. Magnus furrows his brow but Alec just pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around his neck because he’s afraid he might pull out and away. And if he just gives Alec a few minutes to revel in this newfound high, he’s pretty sure he could go another round right away.

“I get it,” he manages between laughs. “I finally get it.” No wonder Isabelle snuck off with Meliorn every chance she got. No wonder Jace slept with any fae he could get his hands on. No wonder, no wonder, _no wonder_.

“Get what, Alexander?” Magnus asks, a bit more reassured that Alec isn’t having a mental break but still not wholly convinced.

“I get why people have sex, Magnus.” His laughs calm and he stares up at him with a wide smile. “Everything makes sense now.” He shifts and feels his come starting to cement between them. “Can you do the magic thing?” he asks and Magnus complies. Alec shifts and moans when Magnus’s cock shifts with him. “Oh shit.”

“What?” Magnus asks, kisses Alec’s neck lightly. Their eyes catch and Alec watches his control flicker just for a second. He’s momentarily distracted by Magnus’s true eyes before he shifts and reels Alec back to the present.

“You’re still hard and inside me.” Alec shifts again and moans. “Oh _shit_.” He hears Magnus chuckle and tilts his head back a bit, closing his eyes to concentrate on Magnus’s assault on his senses. He feels surrounded by Magnus in every way. He’s on top of him but also inside of him. Alec can hear his breath even as he feels it on his neck between kisses. And everything smells like Magnus and Alec and _sex_. It smells like _them_ , the very base version of them but the version of them underlying everything. The version of them that’s all pheromones and heat and attraction and _this_. Alec’s head swims with it.

“Hold on,” Alec says. “Roll over, I want to try something.” He turns slowly, makes sure Magnus doesn’t slip out of him, doesn’t want to lose that sensation just yet. His cock is half hard and hangs between them as he sits back on Magnus’s hips. He puts his hands on Magnus’s chest to brace his movement and then leans forward a bit before rocking back. They both groan and the sound lingers between them. Their gazes catch and lock.

Magnus shifts one leg up, plants his foot on the bed, wraps his hands around Alec’s hips and holds on. He’s had many lovers in his life—a great deal of them virgins—but Alec has far eclipsed them all. There’s never been one quite like Alexander Lightwood.

Alec shifts one hand to Magnus’s raised knee and uses it to leverage himself on Magnus’s cock. The shift in angle changes things and Alec closes his eyes to moan and take in the new senses. He’s shifted to hit his prostate, grazing it on every odd thrust or so, not exact but finding a rhythm. When he opens his eyes it’s to see Magnus’s intent gaze on him, fingers gripping so tightly he’ll leave finger-shaped bruises tomorrow. The thought spurs Alec on.

He picks up the pace, feels sweat drip down his temples, run in rivulets down his chest and abs, never once breaks eye contact with Magnus. He wants to make the warlock lose control again, knows he can do it if he just finds the right angle or tempo or something. His hand on Magnus’s chest shifts and he accidentally grazes a nipple and then—there it is. Magnus’s lips part and he gasps quietly but audibly and his eyes shift as he loses control.

Alec licks his lips and groans, picking up the pace. He rides Magnus harder, touches his nipple with intent, watches the ripples of pleasure wash over Magnus’s face. His eyes flash between gold and brown until settling on gold when he loses control completely.

In a move that surprises Alec, Magnus sits up from the bed and pushes Alec back. No sooner has his head hit the blankets pooled at the foot of the bed then Magnus is there, in his vision, breathing heavily and leaning down to kiss him fiercely. He wraps his arm under Alec’s thigh and pulls it up and back, changes the angle again. Alec barely has a second to be thankful for all the years he’s spent trying to become invulnerable, trying to become more flexible to train harder, not knowing it would come in handy in a situation like this.

His mind flashes from the thought as soon as it arrives, consumed entirely by Magnus again. His hips are erratic as they drive against Alec’s and his hand wraps around Alec’s cock. They’re both teetering on the edge and Alec can’t look away, can’t stop staring into Magnus’s eyes and gripping onto his shoulders and his hair and the sheets and the blankets and _feeling everything all at once_. Everything feels like too much and not enough, not enough, not _enough, almost there, there!_ And then their bodies cease movement and they’re suspended in pleasure, sweaty foreheads pressed together and eyes closed to _feel_.

Their breath eases out of their lungs and hangs between them. They finally open their eyes, gold looking into brown. Then Magnus blinks and his wards are up again. Alec leans up and kisses Magnus quickly but gently. Magnus chases his lips and slows the kiss, lengthens it, turns one into three into ten. They linger, lips still barely touching even as they catch their breath.

“Oh _shit_ ,” Alec whispers between them and Magnus chuckles softly. He presses another kiss to his lips before sitting back and pulling out. Alec closes his eyes and groans at the void.

Magnus disposes of the condom, magics away the sheen of sweat, snaps his fingers and changes the sheets even as Alec lays there in a blissful daze. “I don’t like you not being inside of me,” he decides aloud, pulling his arm away from his face to turn his head toward Magnus. “It feels empty.”

Magnus smiles and places his palm on Alec’s stomach. His fingers drum a light beat over his parabatai rune. “You amaze me, Alexander.”

“In good ways, I hope.”

Magnus smiles wryly at him. “After that? Is there any other way?” He leans down and kisses Alec’s skin, right over his heart. “We should take a bath. It’ll help the soreness you’re going to feel tomorrow.”

Alec smiles and pulls Magnus down until they’re curled together. “In a minute. Right now I just want to lay here with you.”

Magnus kisses his cheek and pulls him close, holds him tight, ignorant to the thoughts swirling through Alec’s head. In the middle of everything, Alec realized just how much he feels for Magnus. He realized just how emotionally full of Magnus he has become, how much of his heart has filled with love for him. And he knows he should feel vulnerable…except...

Except here, wrapped up in Magnus’s arms, Alec doesn’t feel so vulnerable. In fact, he’s never felt safer in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! Come say hi on [tumblr](http://thepinescentedair.tumblr.com/)


End file.
